Happy New Year! Welcome to a new decade…2020! I wish you all the best – good health, love and tons of happiness this year!
2019 sure did pass by so quickly, it was a wonderful busy year. I did accomplish many things and achieved certain goals, I set for myself especially financially which was my main focus last year. I was also dating someone for quite a while which was going quite well – we got along great, enjoyed each other’s company, the list goes on… until the relationship started crumbling last summer. It became on and off and the relationship ended a week before the holidays. It has been emotionally draining which has taken a toll on me…anger, resentment, heartbreak and anxiety. I guess it’s natural to have these feelings after a break up it’s called the healing process I’m told. I am not here to feel sorry for myself or get pity. I wanted to share my experience and what I went through because someone else could be going through the same! Whoever you are (M or F) you’re not alone!
I am not by any means an expert on dating or relationships but here’s my advice of what to watch out for based on my previous relationships. Pay attention to the little red flags 🚩 that pop up or your gut feeling like…
-when he starts pulling away – it means something is up. He’s not serious about the relationship and could be dating others while he’s dating you
-tells you he’s depressed – means he’s giving you a heads up that he doesn’t know what he wants from the relationship (I’ve had two guys tell me this when they started pulling away. It hurt so much more as I know people who have truly suffered from depression and it’s sickening that someone would use that as an excuse)
-tells you he’s busy – no one is that busy where they can’t text you. He wasn’t busy during the times when he was texting you often
-pay attention if he has any patterns from his past relationships which are showing up in yours now (Ex. If his past relationships only lasted 8 months to a year and it’s coming to that timeline then most likely can we say commitment issues?)
-doesn’t introduce you to his family, kids or friends after 6 months of dating
-doesn’t talk about future plans with you like where this relationship is going and making travel plans or romantic weekend getaway
-treats this relationship more of a “companion” same routine dinner/movies/take out/stay in and watch movies
-is hot and cold with you when he pulls away
-if they lied to you at the beginning most likely they will keep lying to you during the relationship
-if he says that he’s not a good texter which is a pile of bs because he was fine at texting early on in the relationship
-be suspicious if he won’t have many pictures taken with you – he’s afraid that someone else will see it on social media
-if he makes accusations that you were out looking for other guys online and seeing them behind his back…those accusations are because that is what he was doing behind your back and is trying to ease his conscience (he did get caught)
-if early on in the relationship he brings up that you’re all done up, hair done, make up done, nails done and dressing in stylish clothes, etc…and states that he’s the opposite of you…most likely he’s insecure about himself and you want a man who is confident with himself he should be proud to have a woman like you on his arm
So that’s my advice to you ladies! That’s what I had gone through last year, it ended because I found out the real reason why he pulled away was he was looking and seeing other women online. Deep down I knew something was off because of my past relationship and my previous ex did the same thing to me. He was in another relationship the whole time he was with me. I regret not paying close attention and not going with my gut feeling! I couldn’t see him to be that type, he was more reserved, he was a lot older than me, divorced and has children. I thought a mature divorced man would be different. It was definitely another learning experience for me to keep my eyes open and go with your gut feeling…don’t listen to others that keep telling you to give it chance.
Now, I am going to move on…forget that this relationship ever existed because it is not good for my over all health to keep wondering what’s wrong with me? What went wrong? If things were going so well.
Ladies if you ever experienced this…you are good enough, actually too good for him if he didn’t appreciate you and there is nothing wrong with you, there is something wrong with him if he pulls away and starts looking elsewhere.
Someone once told me “you don’t want a prince…you want a king” that will treat you like a queen and is proud to have you in his life!
This is what I have to keep reminding myself and focus on myself to heal from this relationship. I know it’s not going to happen overnight. Another thing ladies…after a break up don’t rebound and I’ve done that once in the past…it doesn’t do you any good and it won’t make you feel better, it won’t help you to forget about your ex because when you are in rebound you are not really into this new guy. Best to stay single for awhile to heal and start feeling good about yourself, you will know when you are ready again and hopefully the next one is the right one for you!
So aside from that…2019 was a special year as it was my milestone Birthday and I have made more new wonderful friends from this blogging community. I have connected with these beautiful women and they have been so supportive! Hopefully, I will be able to attend New York Fashion week this year! Bring it on 2020…can’t wait to see it!
Lastly I linked up my holiday dresses on LIKEtoKNOW.it but some may be sold out and usually they restock them with returns…keep an eye out and save my link if you are interested in a certain item that is back in stock.